An Utterly, Totally Drunk Clary
by curlysgotstyles
Summary: What happens when Clary gets drunk? Read to find out!  A little bit of swearing...but that's why it's rated T! R&R :P


7:00 pm

...

**I:**"Clary, please come out!"

**C:**"NO"

**I:**"Cla-"

**C:** "NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO and NO."

**I:****Izzy pretends to be Jace** "Come on hot stuff! Do it for me?"

Clary opened her door, actually thinking it was Jace and peeked outside…

**I:**"Ha! Gotcha ya, you little bitch!"

**C:** "AHHHH! YOU LITTLE…YOU LITTLE…ASSHAT! YOU TRICKED ME!"

Clary quickly closed the door.

**I:**"Why not…(thinking of another insulting word) dipshit?"

**C:** "I don't wanna be subjected to your makeover ways, DUH!"

**I:**"Oh, THAT'S IT! NO MORE NICE ISABELLE!"

**C:** "Izzy, I don't think tricking people and calling them swear words is _nice."_

**I:** "You and your stupid no-swearing policy!" (mumbling)

**C:**"I heard that you assclown!"

6 hours later…

Clary was finally persuaded to leave the Institute and go to the Pandemonium with Jace, Izzy, Alec, and Magnus (involving an electric toothbrush, Jace's manhood, some glitter and an elastic band). As the rest of them left to go dance, Clary found herself sitting at the bar… somehow she and a girl she met named Maia decided to have a contest to see who could drink the most shots.

Maia stopped at 7 and was passed out on the bar counter. Clary, who was at 9 by then, didn't realize that Maia had lost, and she continued to drink shot after shot. By the time Alec found her, she had drank around 18 shots, and was mumbling about 'tasting the rainbow with her favorite leprechaun, Bimblehead and a tube full of sparkly, sparkly, rainbow guns.' They decided that they needed to take Clary home, and got a cab.

"I WANNA GO ALL THE WAY, TAKING OUT MY FREAK TONIGHT, I WANNA SHOW ALL THE DIRT, I GOT RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND, WHOA" Clary screamed.

"No sex in the fucking car!" yelled the driver.

"Ya know what …I think Imma a threesome right now, with you, you, you, and you!" Slurred Clary, pointing at Magnus, Alec, Jace, and Izzy.

"Wouldn't that be fun?" Jace joked, winking. Izzy just bitchslapped him. "What the fuck, Iz!" He growled, cradling his cheek. "Oops, I was just trying to reach Clary, she's drooling on Alec." Izzy smirked.

"The fuck!" Alec pushed Clary away from him, who was now tittering about being a putting something into a hole… "Hello, you gorgeous face is nowhere near Alec, you moron!" Everyone started screaming and shouting about this and that, while Clary tried to make out with the window.

"Get the hell out of my car or I'm calling the cops!" Screamed the furious .

"I think I might go gay for you, …'cuz your just so hawt; call me, babe!" Clary smiled tipsily at him. Then Magnus said "Hey, um, Clary…you're a girl, hun, remember? And your dating Jace."

"Jace, that bastard? Didn't he sleep with you?" She pointed to Alec. Alec blushed madly, while Jace just started back at Clary. "I absolutely love Clary drunk out of her mind!" he chuckled.

She slurred, "But, what about you? Are you dating , Mr. Gaysparkles? You look sooo wrinkly!" Clary collapsed on Magnus' shoulder. Jace was now outright laughing…"Hey, Mr. Gaysparkles!" Magnus gave him the dirtiest glare possible.

"She's gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow!" Izzy smiled, gleefully…she could give Clary a makeover and Clary wouldn't be awake to care!

1 pm the next day…

Clary woke up at had a throbbing massive headache. She rubbed her eyes and her fingers came back blackened…_Isabelle…_she thought. She slowly began to piece together a story. Isabelle whacked her with a frying pan to try to give her a makeover so they could go to the club. After she had finished, Clary was still not awake, so she called for and and . They both agree that Clary was not going to wake anytime soon, so they put her to bed. _WAIT! Who are and ?_

Clary walked down stairs into the Institute's kitchen. "Hey, Clary! How are you?" Magnus asked. Everyone was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. "I have this massive headache…and I woke up with a bunch of makeup!" Clary glared at Isabelle. "Do you remember anything?" Alec asked, trying to sound innocent. "No, but here's what I think happened…**(An: to lazy to write down the story)**." Everyone started to laugh. "Are you sure you don't remember anything?" a giggling Jace asked Clary. Clary gave Jace the are-you-crazy look, but said, "Yes." "Well, I guess then, for you sake, let's keep it that way Clare-bear!" Jace told her, snickering. Clary gave Jace another funny look, but accepted some Advil from Izzy and sat down to eat her breakfast.


End file.
